Last week a knock at the door brought me a delivery containing a pair of sandals that I
had ordered online for my upcoming holiday. Excitedly I rushed back inside to open the
parcel. Yes, right size, right colour, would go with everything, (well maybe not the outfit I
wear for funerals but pretty much everything else.) Perfect. Satisfaction all round. Then,
oh no! OH NO! I had put my new shoes (sandals) ON THE TABLE. I could immediately
hear my mother shrieking, 'Don't put those new shoes on the table or it will bring 7 years'
bad luck for you, my girl!' I panicked, seized the box with the shoes (sandals) inside and
threw them to the floor. I wondered if I could mitigate the disaster by arguing, if I ever
had to justify myself in a court of law dealing with superstitious beliefs and those who
contravene these beliefs, that, after all, my shoes were not shoes, they were
sandals.''Would sandals be alright Your Honour? And does it count if they are still in the
box?' 'No, as according to the law as set down by Merlin in the time of King Arthur, this is
a contravention of the said law and I sentence you to 7 years bad luck. Take her down.'

Three gin and tonics later I calm down a little and convince myself that as it was an
inadvertent mistake and never intended to cause malicious harm to anyone including
myself I might just about get away with it if I try to make reparation in the coming weeks
by being nice to the woman up the road who doesn't deserve it, (she puts stuff in my
recycling bin when I am not looking), or perhaps making a donation to the very next
charity that posts me a begging letter. Even if it is from somewhere like Kew or the V&A
asking for money to provide more parasols in hot weather so that people wanting a grain
bowl with avocado and quinoa or sticky-glazed tofu and seaweed dip in the brasserie will
not have to eat out in the hot sun. Or an animal charity like 'Equal Rights for Rodents'
demanding cash so that rats get all the perks that other domestic animals receive, for
example food provided with no need to forage, warm designer-label coats in Winter and
outings in the car with the rest of the family. Or Thames Water simply asking for money
before they finally run out in September.

In the following days I gave some thought as to why new shoes on the table was so
unlucky anyway. I knew why you shouldn't walk under a ladder. In medieval times a ladder
was synonymous with the gallows and you wouldn't want to get too close to one of those
if you could avoid it. Nowadays the ladder might fall down bringing the window-cleaner
with it and land on top of you causing broken bones or at the very least an embarrassing
situation for you and the window-cleaner (or fenestration hygiene operative as they now
like to be called.)

But no new shoes on the table? What is the logic in that? I thought about other widely-
held superstitions. Don't eat pickled herrings on your birthday. Obvious, that one. Pickled
herrings might make you sick and who wants to be vomiting all over the place on one's
birthday? Or don't put chilli sauce and demerara sugar on the same shelf in the fridge or
you might, in a Senior Moment, spread chilli sauce on your cornflakes and smother your
meatballs in demerara sugar. Or never whistle in the house in case your partner assumes
you are happy, wonder why and jump to the conclusion you are having an affair.

All sensible superstitions are grounded in rational thinking. But I still cannot see the
reason for not putting new shoes on the table. As they are new they won't be dirty and
germ-laden and they won't damage the table like a hot saucepan would. I tried to think
what the origin of this belief might be. Was it that in the past the poor thought that if you
advertised the fact you had some new shoes someone would steal them, or, worse still,
eat them, mistaking them for a couple of over-cooked lumps of meat that had gone all
leathery? Or was it just my mother who was a stickler for tidiness? 'A place for everything
and everything in its place'. So shoes did not belong on the table and if we were
threatened with 7 years' bad luck we might just take them upstairs immediately and not
mess up the whole house?